Control, manipulation and jealousy are obstacles to a healthy, egalitarian love relationship. A healthy relationship should allow partners to express their needs and limits without fear of being judged or hurting the other.
In a healthy loving relationship, we should find the following criteria: self-respect and respect for the other, trust, security, consent, listening, equal sharing of power, etc.
It's possible to desire loving contact without wanting a sexual relationship. Caresses, hugs, signs of tenderness and kisses can satisfy us without having the desire to enter into a full sexual relationship. Sexual activity is a choice, not an obligation.
It is conceivable to refuse sexual relations with one's partner even if they have had them before. Consent to a sexual act should be given at every sexual encounter, and without manipulation or blackmail. Furthermore, a person should have the choice to end the sexual relationship whenever he or she wishes, at any stage of the activity.
